Venting Again

I feel so fucking horrible. I know it doesn't matter, but it cannot escape my attention because it is so fucking present. I hate my fucking life and I have no idea how things came to be the way they are. I really want to die, I hate living this way, I hate having to be alive in this form. I don't understand how the fuck this could happen. I know it is better than having died, but not that much better. I feel so fucking fucked up. I hated waking up this morning, I hated having to acknowledge my condition under these circumstances. I can't believe this shit has happened to me. I don't know how to cope beyond pushing everyday, but that makes me want to kill myself. I think I am going to end up killing myself. Fuck.

FUCK@!!!